In the last email (see email 24)
I again suggested that to become the CEO of our lives we must accept
that the subconscious mind learns best through an incremental process.
The challenge is that much of our social programming is aimed at quick
When we demand that the subconscious mind change quickly we are asking ourselves to put a band-aid on what it not working.
How does external influence impact our striving to claim quick
results? From an early age, we learn to compare what is “good” with what
is “bad.” We learn to strive for acknowledgement and acceptance. We are
set up to believe that the stamp of approval (grades from teachers,
privileges from parents, inclusion by peers) is the ultimate affirmation
of our existence.
It is this desire to be “good” and to live in accordance with the
“rules” that fuels the fear and pain behind the need for quick results.
Unrealistic expectations fuel a headlong dive back into internal chaos.
Remember that internal chaos is fuel by the battle between our
programming and the wish to express our original potential.
External programming also suggests that to live a full, satisfying life
we must think BIG. While there is value in this, the subconscious mind
becomes overwhelmed and retreats quickly in the face of implausible
We make significant and lasting life changes under the following circumstances:
- We incrementally retrain our ways of being that eventually begin to feel natural and easy
- We are shocked into new ways of being that lack staying power
Some examples of situations that “shock” us into new ways of being:
-a spouse threatens to leave
-a health scare
However, even in the instances mentioned above, many people, after being
“shocked” into new ways of being will eventually revert to old paths of
least resistance. This reality should convince us that until the
subconscious mind has been fully educated that we will be at risk for
falling off the wagon.
Again, our desire to quickly create changes circumvents the systematic
learning journey required by the stubborn powerful subconscious mind.
I encourage you to continue to review past emails. Each time to do this your understanding of the change process will deepen.
Terri Lee Cooper MSc. RSW