In the last email, I introduced the concept of what I refer to as original potential. If
we are to take charge of our lives (become the CEO of our lives) we
need to realize that much of what we are expressing is often not our
original potential, but rather a compilation of what we have been
When we are born we naturally wish to grow, explore, and build autonomy.
We desire to express ourselves and investigate the world around us.
Even while we are dependent on care givers for our very survival, there
is within a desire to be independent, to use our imagination and
influence our environment.
As we grow we begin to express interests, abilities and talents that are
unique to each of us. For example, some children show a keen interest
in drawing, while others are deeply attracted to music, animals, or
nature. We each develop in different ways and at different rates as
well. For example, some toddlers walk sooner, some preschoolers begin to
read earlier then others, some show more desire for order and
organization of their play space. Some show high sensitivity to to the
moods of adults
around them, while others are less influenced.
We know that how we develop as children is impacted by early programmers
(aka parents). At very early age we begin to receive messaging from
those in power about what is expected of us. Messages about how we
should think, feel, and behave begin early. As children we are highly
vulnerable and learn to fear rejection from those who literally hold our
survival in their hands. This results in parts of the self retreating. I
refer to the influence of external authority as social programming.
Some of the messages we receive benefit us in terms of keeping us
physically safe, But many messages work to stunt the expression of our
natural inclinations. Remember that most early programmers (aka parents)
began the parenting journey with their own emotional baggage.
Children often rebel against confinements to the expression of their original potential.
As adults we continue to rebel against challenges that infringe upon our
original potential. This tug of war between our natural desires/needs
and wants, and what the environment expects, creates internal chaos. I
will talk more about this internal chaos in the next email.
Again, please remember this mail out is sequential. If you need to go
back and review the last emails please take the time to do so.
Terri Lee Cooper MSc. RSW