Note-You may want to print this out. A second or third reading will likely offer more insight and a deeper understanding of what is presented here.
TWO BURNING QUESTIONS
1. Why am I like this?
2. How can I change?
These two burning questions cause hours of misery for many people. Much time is spent cycling through these questions and analyzing the automatic answers that come to mind… over and over and over. Sometimes people stay stuck with, and feel frustrated by, these two burning questions for years.
I am going to answer these two questions very quickly and simply. If you need someone’s permission to move on and beyond the limits of these questions…I give you my mine.
2 HELPFUL ANSWERS
1. Why am I like this? I am like this because I am a learning machine. I learned to respond to the world around me and the world inside me in a specific way. I learned by watching and listening and practicing. This learning has been stored in my memory bank and continues to influence my every day thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
2. How can I change? For many people the word change is laden with difficult emotion. Let’s begin with the idea of simply adjusting, fine-tuning or tweaking a little here and there. Even better, lets leave the tired old pathological model of “fixing” behind and start to focus on strengths. Building on strengths will always get you further faster and with more ease. We remember that we are learning machines, and now as adults, we move from victim mode and begin to choose our learning and practice opportunities very deliberately.
A MORE EMPOWERED CYCLE
When we begin to ask ourselves a better quality of question we begin to work from a better quality of answer. We still automatically go to the same memory bank but this time the search produces the “good stuff.” For example-“What lights my fire/turns me on/ gets me moving? What am I naturally good at that I enjoy doing? In what small way can I contribute today? How have I previously helped myself feel good in a manner that was healthy? When we do this we quickly alter our state of mind and our reference, right now in the moment, we move into a more resourceful state, one that creates the helpful state which allow us to adjust, fine-tune or tweak from a place that feels good rather then driven by the willpower or frustration cycle.
So, quit asking those tired old burning questions. Resolve today to let them go. They have not been helpful. This is your life, use your precious time by gently and firming turning your thoughts to the 2 helpful answers and the more empowered cycle.